Jun 25, 2013


oh god yes.  rocky mountain me.




i'm living in a condo, in the center of a development, in the center of a farming community, on the edge of the western slope of the rockies.  it's a strange place, different from any i've ever live in before.  i've lived on farmland before, but not land peppered with giant and i admit - hideous - developments.  it's a weird place to drive around, admiring the old barns and rolling fields where they've started making hay, and then boom!  development.  it makes me sad of course; the waste of this beautiful prairie.  but then again i'm glad i'm not living in the city proper so i guess i'm part of the problem, not the solution. 

anyway, i've decided to just embrace development living.  i know it's temporary, and it certainly has it's conveniences, so i'm going to enjoy it.  i've been playing around with the idea of doing a photo project on suburbia; trying to find the visually interesting in a place i find somewhat visually and creatively repellant.  but for now i just can't help it.  i'm more enamored with the farmland.  

someone has to document all these beautiful, abandoned barns before they tear them down and put in a golfcourse.

Jun 19, 2013



  "this morning russ woke me by wishing me a happy six month anniversary.  we chose "surprise" as our theme today.  he surprised me, not with a puppy or 'a thing but an experience,' by giving me a 30 minute gyrocopter ride over the coast and jungles of the nicoya.  my stomach was still a bit upset and i was nervous but it turned out to be a most excellent and amazing adventure.
    the gyrocopter is not like a plane or a regular helicopter.  for one thing it's open air and it's tiny.  once the propellers gained momentum they seemed to hold it even once he cut the engine and we slowly sank towards the ground.  
    at times we were high above it all seeing the coast stretch out for miles and miles in either direction; seeing the storms over the ocean and the mist rising off the jungle.  at other times we were so low over the waves it felt like a pelican's view as they hover and skim across the sea.   it was the best surprise and the best present and the best six months of my life.
    i've ridden gyrocopters, surfboards, motorcycles, quads, cars, beach cruisers, boats, scooters, tiny planes, big jets, city trains, tuk tuks and taxis.  i've been on both sides of the world in temples and jungles and ruins and metropolises.  i've had beer on beaches and cocktails in skybars.  i've dined with diplomats and pop stars and poor tico farmers.  i've gambled in vegas and hiked through deserts.  i've gone snorkeling and yogaing and jungling and watting and flying.  i've seen dolphins and puma and tapir and monkeys.  i've eaten mangos and papayas fresh from the trees and pineapple from the ground.  i've learned to machete open a coconut and drive doubled up on a scooter and surf and teach yoga and speak sanskrit and lean into the curves.
    i have fallen in love.
    i have laughed and cried and learned and felt more than i ever imagined.
    it has been an epic six months.  i can't wait for six months more."

Jun 14, 2013


The day that Nikki almost died but didn’t

I find evidence of the miraculous everywhere and usually it’s nonsensical.  Perhaps it does make sense to a greater or simpler mind than mine.  Perhaps there’s an overarching plan that I’m too small to see.  Perhaps there’s a reason or perhaps there’s nothing but I know the meant to be when I see it and I’ve seen it enough not to question it anymore.  Without one small link in a chain of occurrences the outcome would have been so much different, but it wasn’t; that link was there and everything fell into place exactly so.  Sometimes it ends in tragedy, sometimes in triumph – today she could have died but didn’t.

            We’d taken the students to Montezuma, a remote town on the tip of the Nicoya peninsula. From there we hiked to a beautiful deep jungle waterfall and set intentions with silence, solemnity and a healing mantra that we all chanted together; circled and hand-holding.  When it was over we dispersed and climbed up the falls to document it with a photo.  On her path up the water Nikki brushed by a tree laden with ants and received many bites on her upper thigh.  Since they were only ants and this is the jungle where everything eats you she thought nothing of it, posing for photos and taking photos as the group walked down to the bigger set of falls below.  After she’d finished taking my photo and I swam back to her rock I found her seated and alarmed.  She had flushed skin and told me her lips felt numb. 

            I ran down to tell Russ what had happened and that we needed to leave.  By the time we’d gotten back to where she sat her face and neck were red with hives, her lips and eyes were swelling and it was clear that this situation was more serious than we thought.

            Moments later Jake showed up with Benadryl and a random couple.  We gave her the pills as the strange man knelt and said, “I’m a doctor.”  He was Dr. Kiav Nemati. Having just graduated from UCLA medical school he’d surprised his girlfriend Miss Emily Groves, who was a nurse, with this trip to Costa Rica.  They’d been debating whether to go to the waterfall or the beach that morning and at about the same time that we had joined hands and started chanting, the waterfall had won.  They’d been there only fifteen minutes when he’d overheard my cries to Russ and found us kneeling around Nikki.  He proceeded calmly to ask a series of questions both comforting and terrifying.  What was her name?  What had stung her?  Did she have any allergies, any history of hospitalization or medical issues?  Did she feel any numbness, any tingling or dizziness?  Was she having trouble breathing?  As the questions and answers continued with affirmations the gravity of the situation became clear.  We needed epinephrine he said, which none of us had.  She needed urgent care he said and at that moment Nikki stood up saying, “I have to go,” and she and I just started going, leaving them behind to figure out details.

Jun 11, 2013


i hate it when i spot a cool photo and all i have is someone else's iphone.


been spending alot of time with this chick again.  hey nikki, remember when we were in chiang mai....

Jun 3, 2013




"i knew that if i allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed.  fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so i chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told.  i decided i was safe.  i was strong.  i was brave.  nothing could vanquish me." - cheryl strayed