Apr 28, 2011


some of it is completely illegible.  some of it is massively more interesting. 


so here it is.  this is the one possession of mine that we were able to salvage from the burnt wreck of my mom's house.  

my journal.

it was sitting on top of a cupboard.  uncovered.  unprotected. made of paper.  somehow survived.  

i love magic.




Apr 24, 2011


                          taking down the greenhouse day

Apr 23, 2011


i picked john up from the airport today.  in light of the unusually beautiful weather we decided to go adventuring in seattle.  it was a very good little adventure


all day.

Apr 20, 2011


this is sean..... he's already totally a little dude.


this is marcia...... she is a masterful nurturer.  she grows the best gardens... and the best families. 


Apr 16, 2011


the little eyrie

"..this rambling around can really get to you sometimes.  migration is exhausting.  displacement is traumatic.  the world can feel scary, especially when so much feels broken or wrong.  tough things happen, challenges get you, things burn down, resources run out.

that is why it is so nice sometimes, so important and lucky to have a safe, clean, little nest of your own.  just a quiet little spot where you can watch the weather and the water and the swallows diving below while you rest, recharge, and rebuild..."

Apr 15, 2011


i dare you to click on this link.
i dare you to watch this movie.
i dare you to be a hummingbird.


Apr 10, 2011


this is terra joy and her brand new bees... poppy number 1 - 11,000 and queen dalia.... oh yeah and some drone dudes who are only there  for procreation and don't have names.

Apr 9, 2011


  this is just a reminder:
  carrying a knife on you at all times is a quick and easy way to become more useful... and more awesome.

Apr 8, 2011

Apr 7, 2011

Apr 6, 2011


                                      "layer upon layer of solitude" 

Apr 5, 2011


brand new betty

so i've wanted my photos to show up larger for quite some time now but i've just been too lazy and too happy with my overall blog appearance to do anything about it.  the queen bee and i were fucking around on blogger today in an attempt to enlarge the images when we somehow, accidentally, permanently changed my format.


this caused me a surprising amount of distress for a few hours.  i'm attached to the way the blog looked.  very attached.  but if this year has taught me nothing else it is this; quit clutching on.  so rather than pulling out my hair, or spending anymore time trying to learn how to write html code (bleh no way), or scouring the internet for old blogger templates, i'm going to embrace this change.  hopefully you will too.

after all..... omnia transuent... right queenie? xo

Apr 4, 2011


good old boys 

no matter where i go i can't seem to shake em.  nor do i want to.

Apr 3, 2011


hello again new home number 6!!!

you look so pretty today.


new zealand new moon

one of the blessings of having such a thorough visual documentation of my life is that i can go back in the archives and remind myself of where i once was; one year ago, two, eventually 3 or 4. this is a wonderful thing for someone like me. i am often so involved and focused on the present moment that i forget where i've come from, sometimes even who i have been.....and as for where i'm going and who i will be.. well .... no hard plans.

one year ago john and i tilled the abandoned garden at the studio. it was the first time i'd put in a solid day of gardening since we were kids growing up on the ranch. it was the first time in a very long time that i got dirt stuck under my nails. it was the beginning of the changing of my mind.

i decided that a new set of goals were entering my mind and that they were indeed important even if they didn't seem to move me forward in any conventional career path or standard way of life. 'screw it', i told myself after grappling with these new thoughts, 'i'm not a conventional person.' once i accepted that it became easier to allow myself to follow what path i wanted instead of the path that was perhaps laid out for me.

when you accept that you are a person of endless possibility and potential and that the measure of success can be quantified however you see fit, then all roads open up to you, all goals attain importance. once you see every convention for the trap that it is you can refuse to subscribe. you can step off the path you were on. you can be carried away by something else.

and that's what happened here. my new goals were simple really; i wanted new skills. i had a sneaking suspicion that the ones i had were too specialized and in the overall scheme of things maybe weren't that important. i wanted survival skills basically. i wanted to be outside everyday. i wanted to worry about the weather, not technology. i wanted to get out of the god-damn city.

and here i find myself. up in the hills. out of the city. off of the grid. picking through a lunch box of heirloom seeds with the reverence that such a varied treasure trove deserves. i have been planting, working, harvesting, digging, tilling, weeding, growing gardens almost every day this past year. i can say with confidence that i have skills. and everyday i amass more.

there is no end in sight. from this garden i go north to the next. then back down to the next. then out to the mountains to the next. then the next, the next, the next..... i've fully traded that old life for the new one. my soft artist hands have been traded in for cuts and calluses, my nails were cut off long ago....

i don't miss them.


driving back to humboldt day

Apr 1, 2011