Aug 27, 2010
and we're done!
from my journal, a glimpse:
"the first most influential change in my life is the fact that most of my time is now spent in no cell service areas and after the first two weeks, no internet and no electricity areas as well. communication, which was once constant, slowed to a trickle and then shut off altogether. i actually look forward to finding a place and having time to reconnect, but as i have nowhere to be and not much to do i am fully embracing the reality of having no one to talk to. without that structure and constant bombardment i never have any idea of the time, or the day or the date. hardly anyone around me knows either unless they have a job or it happens to be the day they need to make it to somewhere. we spend alot of time together - the people i'm camping with - and so quickly become good friends before, just as quickly, we have separated; moving on to the next place, or plan, or phase, or scene. i have memorized an impressive amount of new names and personal statistics.
these new friends of mine and i spend almost all our time outside. including the sleeping hours. we drive in clouds of dust up bumpy dirt roads leading to hidden splendor, the most rustic of accomodations and spectacular beauty. we swim in rivers and sleep under stars and sit around campfires. we are always on the lookout for poison oak. we spend alot of time talking about possibilities, but due to our necessary uncertainty no plans are really finalized until the last possible minute. we have mini-conferences where, after intense discussion, the only decision reached is that none of us will make any hard plans.
we sit around and swap stories for hours on end. i discover these days that while in the city this plan to leave it all and head out adventuring is a bit different and remarkable, here it is sort of the norm; everyone is drifting around, often homeless, often jobless and possession-less. when i tell people that i quit my job, moved out of my house and got rid of almost all belongings that don't now fit in my car, they say that they have done that multiple times in life and ask how i'm doing with it. it is comforting and humbling.
i'm morphing into a hillbilly; always barefoot or in moccasins, always covered in dirt, haven't brushed my hair for who knows, haven't had a mirror in forever. running around in the sun getting scratched, bugbit, bruised and sunburned i need less and less all the time and somehow, perhaps as a result, enjoy everything more and more. at least once a day i feel like i'm losing my mind, once a day i laugh so hard i cry, and once a day i am amazed and i love my life. 8.26.10"
new home number 2
i got back to 33 after a long day and found my tent the only one standing. there was a stove, s'more making materials, some water, some coffee and sugar, a lighter, some lighter fluid, wood and an axe and a note from shannon.....
don't worry about anything i left. someone will come by and collect it.
i realized later watching the fire.......the life i wanted is the life i have.
Aug 19, 2010
this is jessi...... she's the queen bee.
we were talking about wandering, something i am just starting but that she knows well; the wildness and the wonder of it, but also the loneliness and isolation.
i said, "in the vague plans i have for the future i want to be roaming, so i have to get used to it.... but it's a double edged sword, i'm starting to see."
jessi said, "it is... it is. last year i started to get a little bummed. everything felt so temporary. i'd make friends and then i'd leave them, or we'd separate.... i just felt like i was always saying goodbye to people. it bummed me out for a while.
but then i got over it."
Aug 16, 2010
Aug 15, 2010
Aug 13, 2010
Aug 10, 2010
Aug 7, 2010
Aug 5, 2010
Aug 4, 2010
Aug 1, 2010
years ago i had this secret superstition. if i saw a star i took it as a sign that i was doing the right thing. like they were leading me..... like they were a trail to follow. when i first moved to san francisco it was comical how many i saw. on signs to my destinations, on boats i was boarding, cars i was following, on buildings i was entering and or living in, tattooed on people i fell in love with. everywhere important, at any important moment, i'd look up and almost without fail there would be a star.
i never lost my affinity for stars but somewhere along the way i forgot my belief that they were leading me along the correct path. or maybe i lost the trail. hard to say. anyway.
i just got rid of all my belongings, quit my job, and moved out of my house. everything i need is in my car and without much of a plan or goal i have started down this gypsy road.
today i reached my first new home.
new home number 1
i’ve resided in san francisco for 5 years and 11 months to the day. i’ve lived a lot, learned some, regretted nothing.
i do know this….
- take pine st. – the lights are timed
- go to the left, get to the front
- the show never really starts at 9
- summer clothes = parkas and boots. not exaggerating
- don’t call it frisco, never call it san fran
- just embrace public nudity, public defecation and public drunkenness, otherwise you’ll never make it
- no one cares if you smoke that here
if he looks like thathe’s probablygay.
- feather boas are articles of clothing
- no one goes to the marina
- muni times are approximations
- it’s sunny at dolores
- parking is a bloodsport, hazards are a white flag
- lombard isn’t actually the crookedest
- the impound lot is on 7th and bryant
- pride is considered a holiday
- you may never meet a local
- the sound of every foghorn
- a million hilltop views
- you will leave your heart here.