high tide sunset
Apr 29, 2013
Apr 27, 2013
Apr 24, 2013
Apr 23, 2013
4.21.13
fit of melancholy
"... back in costa rica and it feels surreal, to be here, back in samara, the place that changed my life. it feels strange to return to a place i've known only on vacation and have it be my home. stranger still for it to be my home more than any other. in a way.
i have the best life i can currently imagine. i'm in love, i'm taken care of, i'm traveling the world, i'm supported in every way, i'm healthy, i'm safe, i'm living on a beach. i'm beginning to suspect though that something is missing though i'm not sure what it is. the challenge is gone, the adventure feels flat, absent of spark.
this feeling is fleeting as i am fleeting. it comes and goes. i find it in stillness, sometimes upon arrival and then i lose it again on planes and highways or wake up and it's gone. then everything feels right, as if my heart is happy for the first time, as if my feet have never really connected me to the earth before. as if the butterflies in my belly have been replaced by cooing doves. excitement blends with contentment. bravery blends with ecstasy. fulfillment melts into love.
the fleeting feeling of missing something is gone and i am only in love. in love with a man, in love with my new home, in love with the tropical air, heavy with rain. in love with the waves and the sun and the sand. in love with the sounds of spanish around me. in love with my unlikely life.
i wonder, when i forget that i've no reason to worry, if i will ever be wholly, untouchably content. i wonder if this sneaky felling will come to be felt forever. i can't seem to outrun it; can't shoot is away with photographs or smother it with kisses. i can't leave it on the side of the road with a shoe in a tree, or laugh it out with good friends. i can't shake it off on a quad or a dirbike or a motorcycle, i can't write it away.
all of these things help. but it always shows up again reminding me that i want more.
no matter what or how much i have when i feel it i always want more..."
4.16.13
yesterday i flew through a snow storm to pick up my car so today i
could drive through the snowstorm back to the epicenter of the
snowstorm.
weather challenges aside there is something about being on the road that makes me feel completely calm and centered and at peace. it's like a meditation for me. i don't talk, i don't think, i just watch this beautiful country roll by.
some people go to church. i go for a drive.
weather challenges aside there is something about being on the road that makes me feel completely calm and centered and at peace. it's like a meditation for me. i don't talk, i don't think, i just watch this beautiful country roll by.
some people go to church. i go for a drive.
Apr 22, 2013
Apr 9, 2013
Apr 8, 2013
4.7.13
here's a completely made up green juice recipe. xx.
- 1 bunch spinach
- 1/2 a bunch kale
- 2 carrots
- 3 stalks celery
- 1 green apple
- 1 meyer lemon
- 1 cucumber
(add pineapple to sweeten if desired)
4.6.13
hello again new home number 29!deep in nesting mode; unpacking, laundry, baths, gym, cooking healthy food, game of thrones, spring cleaning, wearing out my wild belle album and pinteresting excessively. Apr 6, 2013
4.5.13
if you thought i was a crazy, traveling gypsy before just wait and see what i've got planned with this one.
4.4.13
russ is convinced there is a formula that enables one to "beat" jetlag. it is a complicated mathmatical thing that has to do with the hours one stays up till the night before the flight plus the hours one sleeps on the plane based on the hour one arrives at the destination.
a- i don't like math.
b - i completely disagree. i don't think you can trick your body into believing it's well-rested after flying for an entire day and ending up halfway around the world on the morning of the day you left. not buying it. however, this time the jetlag wasn't so bad and i believe it was because i followed these guidelines:
- don't drink alcohol. celebrating your arrival, although fun, will fuck you up worse and for longer and throw off any hope you have of a quick recovery.
- do drink water. lots! is this ever bad for you?
- sleep. if you are tired go to bed. even if it's the middle of the day, don't try to tell your body what to do with your mind. just go to bed. and stay in bed.
that's what i did all day. xx
a- i don't like math.
b - i completely disagree. i don't think you can trick your body into believing it's well-rested after flying for an entire day and ending up halfway around the world on the morning of the day you left. not buying it. however, this time the jetlag wasn't so bad and i believe it was because i followed these guidelines:
- don't drink alcohol. celebrating your arrival, although fun, will fuck you up worse and for longer and throw off any hope you have of a quick recovery.
- do drink water. lots! is this ever bad for you?
- sleep. if you are tired go to bed. even if it's the middle of the day, don't try to tell your body what to do with your mind. just go to bed. and stay in bed.
that's what i did all day. xx
Apr 5, 2013
4.1.13
the most peaceful version of bangkok is the city of rooftops and windows and views from above. the street level is hot and heavy with scents good and bad and terrible, polluted with noise and swarming with humanity...
but get some elevation and the whole metropolis opens up like electrified petals on a cyberflower. it's a different world.
but get some elevation and the whole metropolis opens up like electrified petals on a cyberflower. it's a different world.
Apr 3, 2013
3.31.13
bike trip day 3 - acceptancethis is just a reminder: when the road twists and turns.... lean into the curves.Apr 2, 2013
3.30.13
bike trip day 2 - adjustmentafter seeing temples and the burmese border and
eating lunch in a hut over the river with our feet in the water, after
jungling and exploring a forest monestary full of huts, buddhas, banyan trees and boys on their
way to becoming little monks, after riding over mountains, along lakes, over bridges, on
the highway and through the countryside, after seeing my first elephant;
standing peaceful in a sunset field with thailand's strange, dr. suess
mountains in the background, after developing a strong love/hate
relationship with our bike, we reached our floating hotel made of rafts on the river kwai; sore, exhausted and
filthy. it was then i drank the best beer i've ever had in my entire life.
3.29.13
we stopped at a meditation center on the way and explored a bit. they have a very special tree growing there surrounded by yellow ribbon to keep people from getting too close. on the outside of the ribbon there is a table and on the table, two big gold bowls full of water and flower petals along with many gold cups. they have constructed an irrigation pipe out of bamboo tubes that leads to the base of the tree from near the table. you scoop a cup of water out of the bowl, then slowly pour it down the bamboo pipe as you make a wish. the water flows down the pipe, along with your wish and deposits both at the base of the tree.
i have no problem sharing my wish. to be free of fear. and as we continued on our way, whipping through the scorching hot thai countryside at speeds up to 170 kmh (sorry dad!) i repeated it over and over to myself, 'i wish to be free of fear. i wish to be free of fear.'
it kind of helped.
Apr 1, 2013
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