change change change change. that is the name of the game.
seasons, weather, light, people, moods, ideas, beliefs.
the things that don't bend, break. the things that don't change are overthrown. there is no space in this world for that which cannot evolve.
i felt like i'd gotten pretty comfortable with that fact. death, life, evolution. but then a big one came again, ruffled my feathers a bit, ripped me from what i'd been clinging to and revealed to me the places i'd started to stagnate. it's always a beneficial thing once you get through it - but fuck is it a difficult process.
so here's an update - it's been a while. i no longer live in costa rica, residing instead in the small and absurdly charming town of lafayette, colorado. it's the opposite side of the rockies from where i am from and grew up - which is strange. to be on the wrong side of such a forceful landmark, in such a wild land.
i struggled trying to get back in the swing of things - society wise. after being off the grid, out of the country, and gypsying around it was really uncomfortable to deal with the normalcy of traffic and workweeks, and answering phones. i never thought about this when i set out on my journey - the diffculty of returning. i got an office job. i quit it two weeks later. i no longer fit in an office. apparently after you go out to see how big the world is you can no longer shrink back into your former dimensions. i've stood on the edge of too many cliffs overlooking too many spectacular views. i couldn't sit at a desk and stare at a screen again.
this realization was terrifying. along with the realization that there isn't much in the photo industry going on around here - comparatively. not feeling ready to start shooting weddings and family portraits i turned to my other skills. so now i teach yoga and i work on a farm.
as with everything in life there is both good and bad and it's a tradeoff. we have a lovely home, but i miss our costa rican home. i have a garden. i've hardly left town all summer. my family is close. my friends are far away. i work outside. i make a fraction of what i once did. you get the picture - let's focus on the good because there is alot of that:
life is lovely. i live with the person i love the most. we have our costa rican dog, who makes me happy everyday and our good spirits. i am back in my mountains - where i feel most at home and most alive and i've been exploring them all summer, probably more than i ever have. i eat nothing but delicious, organic locally grown vegetables. i see my dad all the time. i have regular yoga students again and am going through the uniquely, rewarding process of building a relationship with them. i am working on some big projects to be unfolding over the next year or so.
life - in other words - is moving right along.
i miss you.
i found this quote today. it seemed fitting.
"for a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. the shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. to someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction."
~cynthia occelli
No comments:
Post a Comment