2.19.10

infinite

again it somehow is that now feels like forever. it can be so hard to remember that time passes, that things change. joy turns to sorrow, love to grief, confusion to clarity, pain subsides and turns to relief. spring comes. spring always comes. and if you should die in the winter spring will still come after you've gone. and if you've lost someone you will live again, and if you've lost yourself nothing waits for you. everything keeps right on going, right on changing, right on living all around you. the world is harsh and savage and relentlessly beautiful. it will provide the balm for all the wounds it gives you. and it will keep giving. giving and giving and you will not know why. it will give when you least expect it and most need it and you will also get what you never want and what you can't give back. trust though that there is no meaningless gift, no pointless season, no useless moment. it's hard to remember in the enormity of the present and the emotions that seem to fill you up and stretch out to infinite that those feelings are nothing, a speck. they have been felt again and again before you, around you and will continue to be felt after you. your pain won't stop the spring. your love won't move the moon. you are beautiful nothing. you are a brief moment of beauty that will burn out and fade and make way for the next. try to remember that it's not you that is important or unique, or powerful, or pivotal. it is your one moment, your one lucky chance to see life and what it holds. just live it. accept it's gifts.